• 10:20 is heading into the office for the day, thinking about moving, packing, jersey, a/c dreamin, friends, israel, airplanes, heat, and food. #

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Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Nik’s performance
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ENJOY YOUR FRIDAY




WOOB! WOOB!

Rest in Peace, sir.

We were up there a few weeks back and I picked up a bottle of their Sauvignon Blanc Botrytis from one of the last years the family itself was still running the show and making the wine there...I think we'll drink it for dessert tonight in honor of the old fella.

Here's a test.
1. Who is one of my all-time favorite performers?
Answer - Alexandra Billings
2. Who is one of my all-time favorite bloggers?
Answer - Alexandra Billings
3. Who is going to be in Chicago May 18th?
Answer - (no, i don't think you all are idiots. yes, i did answer this in the subject line of this post. for pete's sake answer the damn question...) Alexandra Billings!
4. Who am I going to see (God willing and the creek don't rise) Sunday at 9pm, May 18th?
Answer - (say it together please) Alexandra Billings AND Honey West. (See how tricky I am? I added Honey without indicating. You gotta watch me all the time.)

Where, you ask?
@ 3160
3160 N. Clark Street, Chicago, IL
http://www.chicago3160.com/

Alexandra and Honey

So hey there folks in Chicago ... wanna meet me at @3160 for a late-night Sunday experience? I mean, really, these women are amazing!!

I've taken the night off preaching because of the rest of my weekend festivities, though I'll still possibly attend church and then head to the gig.

Two of my favorite things in one night - Praising God and then applauding for Alex and Honey.

Originally published at Marti Abernathey. You can comment here or there.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Joe is at Graceland right now as I type this!!!! What did I do tonight? I did 5 loads of laundry and prepared a Live Journal entry.

In an answer to my recent posts of classic film stars I never really got into, these are the ones I LOVE TO DEATH!! These ones are on the top of the heap! I enjoy their films immensely! I think they are good actors and/or I think they are drop-dead gorgeous. Whatever the reason, they all give me the most pleasure and they have the highest marks in my books. Enjoy!


Clara Bow
She was the first old movie star I became OBSSESSED with and idolised to pieces! After I read her bio that was it! She and I had so many life similarites, especially with her father treating her like shit and the malicious gossip that was spread about her. Yet she acted like no other.

( Gorgeous! Talented! Late Night Appeal! )

I also dished out some big bucks and bought myself a book. This cost a whole one cent!


I can't wait to read it! I'm not quite done The Red Leather Diaries yet!!

I've been updating way too much. I just have all these good things I want to share, though :/

It's been in the 80s in San Francisco the last couple days. What once was balmy now is sweltering.

I grew up in Florida where I used to play soccer and run cross country in 96 degree weather and 100% humidity for months on end.

I was born and went to school in Wisconsin, and lived in Chicago, where, stoically, I would walk to class and work over crusty snow drifts and shovel icy walks and sit out at football games for 4 hours in -10 temperatures as The Hawk whipped off the Lake, buffeting against me.

I move to San Francisco and within a year and a half I'm uncomfortable if it's outside a 55-72 degree range.

#14. I think bear contests, big or small, are utterly ridiculous.

Ok, let's start with the only redeeming quality bear contests have. They raise money for charity. Having these dudes prance around in their leather undies and harnesses at the bar selling tickets from nuts-to-floor raises cash. It raises cash for wonderful charities, mostly AIDS-related charities, and it usually does a great job at doing so.

That being said, here's what sucks about bear contests.

1) They are TOO LONG. Every bear contest I've been to, been in, or been a part of in any way goes on FOREVER. A bear contest should not take 3 hours. There should not be more than an hour. All dudes want to see are the contestants show off their assets, and go home. No one wants to hear about your "journey" or you "spirit" or how you want to "lead cubs into the next decade" or any of that bullshit. Cuz seriously? It's mostly bullshit. There are a select few that believe in their own pledge to help and feel the need to tell us about how it took them a lot of shots to have the nuts to get up on stage in a harness, but really. Shut up. Take off your clothes, dance, and we'll hand you a ribbon or sash. If you are paying 80-150 bucks for a bear run, the last thing you want to do is be cooped up in a hotel ballroom watching a parade of costumes and bad leather. You want to drink, party and fuck. That's what you paid for, right?

2) In the history of bear contests, the majority of "winners" go on to do nothing significant for charity work. Now, that may draw a lot of heat, because I know of a select few that do a lot for their communities and the bear community in general, (daddytodd to name one), but for the most part? What have people done with their awards? I'm sure there are a few sash-winners out there. What did you do with it, other than wear the sash or ribbon to the bar and have dudes fawn over you for it? It's a strange thing to me, because you would think that this type of attention for this type of cause would bring out the volunteers and the charity work. Not at all. I'm sure a lot of dudes must think it's their ticket to porn. Newsflash! In this day and age of Xtube and a million other free porn sites, and some bear porn companies seemingly taking anyone who signs
up, (BearFilms has 371 "models" ...and they even have FatherMoose in there...so...), it ain't happening. So what is the draw?

3) It breeds an air of "Who's Hot, Who's Not". Say you are a young cubbish gent who is just starting to come out and feel good about yourself. Your beard is coming in nicely, you get woofed at on occasion, and you really are starting to get the hang of DJ-ing (because all cubz r deejayzzz, right?)..and you get the nerve to enter a bear contest. You got your shit together. Leather shorts? Check. Harness that your ex bought you? Check. Timberland boots? Check. Sleeveless flannel? Check. Enjoy the show! Oh wait, because you don't have as much chest hair as the other cub running against you who is 45, you lost. Not feeling so pretty now, are ya? Way to bost that self esteem. Well, it is Saturday night, you can always drink it off, and then have regrettable sex. It's all good. In the land of bearzez, I was always under the impression that we are all wonderful, and beautiful and that everyone has a type. That was the point, at least. Bear contests seem to go against that, picking out the hotties over the notties, when the notties are probably just as hot to someone else in the crowd. Four judges who are has-been porn dudes or previous sash winners from their own home city does not make one a decent judge. Besides, in a room full of gay men? Everyone judges.

4) Bear contestants have to do almost nothing to earn their supper. If you are hot, and you get thunderous applause everytime you go out on stage and walk in your undies and open shirt, you could probably shit your drawers and mumble your speech and you would probably still win. If a bear contest is based on looks alone, then dumb the speeches and the "bio" that is read, and just have the bears come out in jockstraps and call it a day. If they need to do more, please kill of the "let's read their ultimate sexual fantasy" portion, because 99 out of 100 times, their greatest sexual fantasy is shit-boring and vanilla, or they have some crazy fantasy that involves honey, teddy bears and rope and it gets convoluted which makes them sound unfuckable. Have these motherfuckers sing for their supper. How about an actual talent contest? Sing! Dance! Juggle chainsaws! Do SOMETHING. Earn it.

That being said, I have experienced enough of the best and worst run contests, and I've even been in one or two, and it just left me feeling like I wasted my time. Although, one contest I did win was for Bears In The Keys in Key West in 2000. The rules of the contest were simple. Every run bag had a ticket for the "bear" and the "cub". The point was for you to socialize and get the tickets from people you got to know. My friend Joey and I made a point to win by simply just asking people for their tickets. Out of the 80 people at the run, I got 62 of the tickets. Half the people didn't even know what the ticket was for. We both won, each got a plastic trophy and a shitload of swag. It was hilarious.

Overall, I think there needs to be a new way to raise money at bear runs. Maybe we can hire some slut to sit in a refrigerator box with gloryholes cut in it and they can give $5 blowjobs. For AIDS. It's been done before, so don't laugh. I can't take credit for it.

A couple of months ago I was at Popstarz, a "club" night at a gay bar. The bar was filled with gay boys and their hags, with a few cool straight peeps in the mix. Also in attendance was a bridal shower - matching t-shirts, presents, cake with a cookie dough penis on top, and the bride-to-be wearing a homemade veil. These ladies, numbering about a dozen, danced in a circle, drank alot, and took pictures with those crazy, drunk gays.

Aside from detesting the "slumming" aspect of this particular party turning our bar into their personal zoo - "I know! Let's do something crazy! Let's go to a gay bar and see gays!!" - I was particularly offended by this being a bridal party in a gay bar. I just wanted to say to these women, "Hey bitches, we can't get married, so don't fucking rub our faces in your BRIDAL PARTY. Take it to another zoo..."

Now all that has changed, at least until November. Well, not the slumming and zoo parts, but the getting married parts. So bring it on, ladies! Just don't be surprised when I have my bachelor party at Hooters and sit on your husband's lap.

For years I've had a love/hate relationship with the word "husband" as applied to gays. Mainly because we couldn't be legally married. On one hand, fuck all y'all gay-haters, I don't need a piece of paper to call someone my husband. But on the other hand, "husband" means more to me than "boyfriend", and I hate how people throw the "H" word around.

Not having the right to marry makes (made) it much easier to call someone your "husband". You didn't need to jump over the hurdles of blood tests, licenses, caterers, all you had to do was say the word, and you were "married". Which meant that, along with all the long-term relationships that lasted years before the "H" word was uttered, there were tons of gays having "husbands" after dating for a month. And then six months down the road, they'd break up and get a "divorce", and be on the lookout for the next "husband".

I wonder, now that we're permitted a legal marriage (no quotations marks), if all those one-monthers are going to race to City Hall and get married? True, it already happens with straight people, but now that we've had decades to think about the situation, wouldn't it be nice if we could enter it with a bit more common sense?

mattycub and I have been dating for four years. I love him to death. I want to be with him forever and always. But I don't call him my husband. Why? Because neither of us has proposed, and we haven't had a wedding. We haven't had the moment in front of a crowd where we once and for all make that decision, and then have that feeling flood over us, reminding us this is forever. For me, not necessarily for others, that's what it takes. Until then, he's my partner or boyfriend. Semantics? Perhaps. But important ones to me.

When we first heard the news about the New Gay Marriage, we both immediately said, "You want to get married? Yeah!" I'm sure homos all over California were doing the same thing. But I think Matty and I both know that we need to think this thru before making a decision as important as marriage. I don't doubt our commitment to each other one bit, but I'd rather our decision not be made while I'm in bed reading Live Journal and he's in the office surfing the online comic book boards.

I believe what weakens the institution of marriage isn't dudes getting married to each other, or to a goat, or three-way marriages, but rather people taking marriage lightly. When we treat marriage like fast food, it becomes disposable. And I don't want my marriage to be disposable. I want it to be important, and solid, and fucking hard to get out of if somewhere down the line we can't make it work. I want it to be a commitment, not a convenience. The shame is that we've had to work so hard to get to the point where we can treat marriage like signing up for Netflix. But in the end I think it will mean that much more to me when I finally do say, "I do."