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The Golden Globe Awards, 2014

The Golden Globe Awards happened last night, and here are my thoughts...

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's opening monologue was wonderful. Snarky with a touch of awe and just the right amount of Gay. And whoever's sewing in Fey's hair these days is doing one hell of a great job, I must say.

-Jaqueline Bisset, looking amazing in her vintage-looking purple beaded versace, was truly taken by surprise. When her name was announced, she sat for a long moment, and took some huge, well-deserved breaths. It was all happening to her and it showed. The ability to be brave during a moment of true authentic shock, is gorgeous to watch. Gratefulness is always gorgeous. Her speech began the same way, She stood in front of us all, breathing it all in. Taking a long moment to stand before us, naked and amazed, And I want to add, and I mean this in the most beautiful and glorious way, she looked wonderful. What I mean is, she looked her age. She looked like a woman who's lived and who's been in the world. Whether or not she's had anything removed, plumped or pulled, I don't know that I care. Her eyes, her smile and her soul was apparent and recognizable. Absolutely glorious.

-I understand the need to thank people. Winning something takes teams of people. Talisman's usually come to us through hard work and unity. Your agent and your manager are sufficient. I don't need to hear about your publicist, your over-seas team, and the guy who helps you on with your left shoe. Get off.

-Matt Damon is Old Movie Star Handsome. Debonair, suave and a great sense of humor. All this is apparent in every performance he gives.

-As we went to commercial, Robert Redford and Bruce Dern were having a conversation and giggling. I rewound six times and I still couldn't read their lips, although it looked to me like Dern said: "Porpoise-like, I think."

-The president of The Hollywood Foreign Press looks exactly like Jeff Perry. I wonder if Jeff Perry saw that.

-Paula Patton was wearing a gigantic doily from a gigantic 18th century coffee table.

-Robert Downey Jr is gorgeous and full of bravado. Everything about him is delicious.

-Dear Starlets,

Please stop posing with your ankles crossed. It doesn't make you look sexy. It makes you look like you have to go to the bathroom.

-When Robin Wright's name was called, some guy in a baseball cap crawled along the floor behind her in a Tempo I haven't seen since the 70's. He was either escaping, or trying to find his cocaine spoon.

-Jarod Leto won for his performance as a Transgender woman and began his acceptance speech with the obligatory: "I had to shave everything", and "the ass you saw was mine" garbage. As expected, he then went on to talk about how much other stuff he was doing before he made this movie and then shuffled off thanking the "Rayon's of the world". I have much to say about this and him, but I think I'll save it for my Huffington Post blog.

-Having Laura Dern introduce her father's nominated picture was brilliant. Dern's Shape was beautiful. In every turn, in every dip of her shoulder you could see the pride, the admiration and the struggle to stay impartial. It was a loving and gorgeous tribute without a word of it actually spoken.

-Julie Bowen couldn't decide which dress to wear, so she wore both.

-The win of the night went to Amy Poehler. After 95 nominations, she finally grabbed the statue. Beautiful and out of breath, the irony wasn't lost on her. She thanked everyone om her "team" and then slyly quipped:

"It's so cliche, but you really do get nervous."

-Someone put glorious Emma Stone in a hairy Hefty bag and told her to go to the Golden Globes.

-It was delicious seeing Mike Tyson on the red carpet. His one man show was extraordinary.

-Diane Keaton came out and delivered a heart felt and wide-open tribute to Woody Allen, who was accepting the Cecile B DeMille Award, and then...she broke into a song that ripped the place apart. A great tribute to a great (albeit, complicated) director, by one of the great artists working.

-Joaquin Phoenix pretended not to care all night.

-Actors: Take Off Your Damn Sunglasses. Your actors, not rappers.

-Matthew McConaughey did his impeccable impersonation of every South Park episode that has ever lampooned him.

-Can anyone look more radiant and be more true and personable than Drew Barrymore? I don't think so.

-Best Introduction of the Night:

"And now, like a Super Model's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."
-Tina Fey

-Best Acceptance Speech of the night:

"Thank you Michael Barker and Tom Bernard for plying me with vodka the way the Judy Garland was probably plied with barbiturates..."
-Kate Blanchett

-Seeing Michael J Fox on the red carpet and then again inside and a nominee is the epitome of courage and determination. If there's anything to be said for Hollywood not taking care of their own, this would break that cliche. Fox is a wonderful actor and certainly deserves all the accolades he receives. He did nothing but accept graciously and beautifully, the entire night and everyone in it.

I ran home from me meeting in time to fire up the DVR. I have to admit, and this is truly brand new for me, that my wife an I finished watching Ghadi before I began my awards show. We had started it before I left and we really needed to see it through. It was a bit strange coming from all that serenity and peaceful protest straight into one of the biggest nights in Hollywood. But...I jumped.

And it was everything I needed it to be. Fey and Poehler were excellent. Funny, bright, gorgeous to look at, and having a great time. As is true for me every year, I loved every, sequined, shmaltzy, sincerely shocked minute of it.

..and now....the count down begins....


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 13th, 2014 02:21 pm (UTC)
GG show
Hey, Alex, it's me, Roxanne! Never anonymous...
The show was a sprawling gorgeous mess and I loved it.
Every pretentious speech, every awkward drunken apology for not taking three minutes out of their fabulous life to jot down one coherent sentence in the 20% chance the Foreign press guys might think them worthy of a trophy smaller than the ones my kids got for third place in junior soccer; "stars" schmoozing with legends and looking gobsmacked; Tina and Amy, awesome and at the same time, looking like mischievous girls emceeing an alcohol besotted summer camp talent contest; Emma Thompson...everything about her; the artificial suspense over "Will they beat the send off music?"; 'Tim Honks'...everything about him (and to think he started in Bosom Buddies...)!

I think drinking should be a required element of every award show.
Jan. 14th, 2014 04:17 am (UTC)
I love your award show recap!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )