-Hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (both looking insanely gorgeous, Fey in a full length turquoise bugle beaded number, and Poehler in a blood red Grecian, half sleeved creation by Vera Wang) gave one of the greatest opening duet monologues I’ve seen in I don’t know how long. Gervaise was served up like yesterday’s French toast, they skewered some of the TV actors railing against the film community, and eventually, while speaking about the brilliant Catherine Bigelow, said:
“I haven’t been following the recent controversy over Zero Dark Thirty but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who married to James Cameron for three years.”
There was not only pandemonium at Bigelow’s table, but it took the entire room almost three and half minutes to swallow their brie without hurling.
-Kate Hudson and Bradley Cooper should walk side by side for the rest of their lives. Beautiful people travel in packs, I hear.
-Mel Gibson was sitting next to Jodie Foster. His only friend left on the planet.
-Someone should shoot Kerry Washington’s wig person. She looked like she was dipped head first into a vat of black lacquer.
-There’s something suave and beautiful about Don Cheadle. He always seems like he should be flirting poolside at a Hollywood cocktail party in the 1940’s. And then there’s that effortless gorgeous art that comes out of him on screen. He’s really got it all.
-If Nicole Kidman’s lips get filled with any more botox, someone’s going to have to tie a string around her ankles and use her as a balloon animal in the Macy’s Day Parade.
-Hey Producer Guy of “Game Change” who won the Globe for Best Miniseries: Don’t make a Sarah Palin joke unless you’ve rehearsed it.
-I understand that it’s another language, and of course I understand that pronunciations are different in different places on the map. I understand that. It makes perfect sense to me. And please believe me when I say, I mean no disrespect to the French, because their language is absolutely gorgeous. Romantic. Sensual. The language of love…..when it’s spoken by the FRENCH! To sit through every actor’s feeble attempt at “Les Miserable”, with some of them trilling the “r”, and some of them falling face first into the “blah” at the end of “Miserable”, it was enough to make me tear up my copy of Oui on the coffee table.
-Stop auditioning, Catherine-Zeta Jones. You already have an Oscar and a Tony, haven’t we suffered enough?
-The producer of “Homeland”, that won Best Series, gave a strange acceptance speech about how brilliant his last season was, and how winning this award this year proves it’s still brilliant. Made me not want to watch his show even more than I already don’t.
-Jennifer Lopez was super shiny and wore a fantastic white flowered, half naked long sleeved dress. She looked amazing as she presented the award to “Life of Pi” for Best Score.
-Watching Adele accept her Golden Globe for “Skyfall” was one of the highlights for me:
“Thank you so much for letting me be part of your world. My girlfriend and I have been over there pissing o ourselves all night.”
- Kevin Costner, who won last night for his performance in “Hatfields and McCoys”, gave a long drawn out speech about walking, hallways and Gregory Peck. And then President Clinton came out. Thank God.
-Glenn Close became a tag at the end of one of Fey’s drunk bits, and it killed. She was sitting in her seat making Insane Shapes and crossing her eyes while holding her hands up in the air like she was hanging from her last rope. Which if her hairstyle was any indication, was most likely the truth.
-Will Ferrel and Kristin Wiig did one of the funniest and most insane bits I’ve seen on any awards show. Pretending to have not watched any of the actresses in any of their movies, they went one by one down a hysterical road of trying to explain each movie by improvising each movie’s plot and repeating each other’s text. It brought the house down and had my wife and me in tears. And then…out of nowhere,…some now unemployed cameraman got a surprise shot of Tommy Lee Jones, who looked like someone had just let the air out of his face.
-Someone please shave Jack Black.
-As Anne Hathaway, (whom I like very much at times), walked up on stage to accept her award, a small clip of her singing “I Dreamed a Dream” came over the speakers, and it reminded me once more how much I don’t want to see Les Miz.
-Quentin Tarantino, who won the Globe for “Django Unchanined”, is the epitome of cool.
-The great thing about the Globes that’s different than any other award show is that for the first hour or so, there some people who are still trying to finish their meal. So every once in a while, there’s small shots of people chewing. For a roomful of actors, eating is always a challenge, and certainly to do it in a town where beauty and poise are paramount and they’re surrounded by The World, must be torture. Where does the napkin go? How much wine is too much? Do I have dressing on my Versace? And then you have to add the numerous surgeries most everyone in town (including me) are rushing to have nowadays. This makes it difficult to move one’s mouth in a way that doesn't resemble a gorilla with bad dentures. It always looks to me like everyone’s repeating: “Try and chew. Try and chew. Try and chew.”
-Jeremy Irons walked out wearing a tuxedo dress. That’s all, really.
-Why is it most animated films are done by men? This hit me for the first time this year.
-I have to say, I’m not the biggest Ben Affleck fan in the world, but he’s the first nominee I can remember, who was truly, truly shocked when he won for “Argo”. I need to see this movie now. Only because I can’t get Affleck’s look of surprise was so genuine and so adorable.
-There’s absolutely no one like Halle Berry. She’s so insanely gorgeous it’s almost disturbing.
-Every time I see Christina Bale I think he’s going to hit me.
-There’s something beautiful and charming about Hugh Jackman. His Tony acceptance speech was just a romantic and just as honest as the one last night (he won for “Les Miz). This is a man who’s been married for a while now, and when he speaks about his wife, something noticeable changes in him. It’s as if his heart widens right before our eyes. And it’s not just him speaking lovely, flowery text, this is a guy who, after all these years, is still very much in love. You can see it. You can feel it. And he loves every minute of being that available to us. It’s the only reason I might break down and sit through a film that nearly every single one of my friends has warned me about.
-Shocker: Daniel Day Lewis wins for his transformational performance as Abraham Lincoln. Who then said probably one of the truest, if not most eloquent things said all night about anyone:
“Tony Kushner….every day I have to live without the immeasurable wealth of your language, which reminds me every day, of the impoverishment of my own.”
-“Argo” won Best Picture last night. I really need to see this thing.
-Jodie Foster was awarded the Cecile B. DeMille award and although a rocky start to her acceptance speech gave me a bit of chill, the last act was absolutely glorious. Having never really officially come out until a few years ago, she finally acknowledged what she was and how her heart felt about it, in the most public way possible. She thanked her ex-partner Cydney Bernard, and you could see, if only for a moment, her eyes detour for just a split second.
In the thing she is as an artist, so is the thing she is a human being: Careful.
I love Foster’s work. On film, she is enigmatic, smart, and fierce, but I have never found her fearless. I’ve found her careful. This, for me, was never a reason to not be guided toward what she had to say in her work, but more of a precursor to what I was in for. I knew this going in. I knew what was ahead of me, and I loved it. I still love it. But it was always careful work. And so, as the speech went on, she informed us she wanted and needed her privacy, which I accept. I can’t for a moment imagine what it’s like to be that famous for that long and with that much stuff in your life so visible and held up for public ridicule or praise. I don’t think any of us can imagine that, so there’s very little for me to relate to in this situation.
But I do know a little about the truth.
Foster’s claim that she’s been honest with her friends and her family and the people around her about her being a gay woman, I buy. What I don’t buy is that the reason she claims, she never allowed the rest of the world in: that it was simply because it was none of our business. I just don’t buy that.
Foster’s carefulness is calculated. It isn’t an accident, her career. This is something she’s worked damn hard for and something she’s fought hard to keep. You don’t get to be as successful in Hollywood without a great gift, and an arsenal of priorities. She has both. So for me, knowing she was gay since “Taxi Driver”, and not hearing her say those words, and not seeing her with her partner and having it be her partner, and not feeling she was always telling me the truth, I kept my distance. I wanted to be let in. I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to speak her truth so maybe, in some faraway place in some faraway town that has only one meeting place for gay people, someone else might have heard her and it might have changed them.
I never wanted details about Jodie’s life. I don’t quite care that much and I have too much to do myself, but I did want confirmation. Confirmation that you can happy, thrilling, open, available, beautiful, smart and free… and still be gay. I wanted to be let in.
Let me also add that because of the generation she grew up in, I completely understand her need to hide. Coming Out in the 1970’s would ruined her career. No question. And certainly, even now, there are tabloids and thrill seekers and nut jobs all over the planet who want nothing more than filth and scum splattered across Page Six in order to fulfill some archaic sexual stereotype that haunts our community to this day. I’m with her there. I get that and I accept that as the truth. I’m simply saying, acknowledge that as fact. Speak that as part of your journey and stop pretending your silence was nothing more that you needing privacy. It’s much more complicated than that. I know a little something about silence and lies myself.
But through all of this, she shone last night. She beamed and she cracked jokes, and she gestured to her family and friends and she tried, to the best of her ability, to release what’s been in her for decades and I have to be on her side for it.
And in her speech last night, she glorified her life and thanked her profession, and it was magnificent. She was eloquent and shockingly candid. I have an enormous amount of respect for her. And now, after this night, I’m hoping her heart is wider for the experience, and less careful for the ride.
Here’s to Jodie Foster and the woman she’s allowed herself to finally become-
…from the unseen experiences of our community.
This year, as with every year during awards season, my wife made a sumptuous meal and we plopped down in front of the set as she passed out during Fey and Pohler’s opening monologue. It was a great night, and now we’re off to the Super Bowl of Awards. Get ready Oscars, my jammies are already in the dryer.