I always knew I had a temper. I’ve been told that since I can remember. I’ve been known to throw things, kick things, toss things, ruin things, and create havoc whenever possible. This isn’t something I’m particularly proud of; it’s simply one of the facts of my life.

Well…my past.

I don’t act like that anymore. I have to really think about it though. It’s never the first thing that comes to mind when I’m in a heated argument, but I do actually have to think about it. It does run through me at times, I’ll admit it. My therapist would be so proud of me right now. I should win something.

I also know, in having dealt with that temper for many, many years that it stems from fear. Fear and loss of control. I can’t control something, or I’m terrified of something hitting to close to home so I lash out. That may not be true of everyone else who’s broken their mail box when the dishwasher konks out, but it was true for me. And with most people who’ve come through the clouds of torrential tempers, I’ve noticed it’s mostly true for them as well. It may be a guess, an uneducated guess, but I’ve found it to be mostly true.

I’ve been wrestling with Obama.

Well, not literally, that apparently has already happened on the WB, but figuratively. I have issues. And when I have issues and I want to figure something out I go to people I trust. I go to my wife, I go to my best friend, and then I go to people in my circle. Yes, I have a circle. Albeit, a small circle, but a circle nonetheless.

In the interim, I’ve been told a sentence I used was “Stupid”, one pal told me he thought I was “Politically comatose”, and then I was called a “Racist”. These were all friends of mine.

And I think having spoken to them, and mulled it around for a couple of weeks, the point I was trying to erase from my heart and trying to push to the back of whatever I thought the real issue was about him, came screaming forward. My friend’s attitude (and their anger) had only proved my point.

And my point is my own. It’s not something I wish to debate anymore, or talk about, or get pummeled for. It’s my point, and I get it now. In fact, having spoken and listened to many supporters of Barrack, I am now not only convinced I was right in the first place, but I’m even now more sure of who needs to win this particular election.

Knowing where the anger is coming from and some of the relationships I thought were friendships I now know to be something else has strangely freed me. That’s okay. I know things change. That’s all right. And I’m not one to let go of a friendship when it comes to political grievances. But, I know this temper. I’ve fought with it, and I get where it’s coming from.

So I guess I’m saying thank you to the people I’ve spoken with. And thanks to the supporters that rifle through the streets, and protest and scream and yell. I say, sometimes it’s right to do just that. I love it. I love it all. Thanks everyone. I know exactly what to do. I feel so much better, I can’t even tell you.

Wow. My therapist would be convulsing right now.

Seriously. I want a prize.